Dull, Embarrassing, Earnest and Trivial
A long, long time ago
On graduation day
You handed me your book
I signed this way
“Roses are red, my love
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet, my love
And boy are we screwed”
– With apologies to Bobby Vinton
Image credit: Merlon Drâs
Last year at about this time, we waited for the phone to ring. Not calling were thousands of universities in need of someone to give the annual commencement speech.
Every year, we prepare an appropriate graduation speech. And every year, with the unanimous accord of America’s institutions of higher learning, we do not give it.
With six children who have gone to college, we have heard more than our share of these speeches. They are almost always dull, embarrassing, earnest and trivial.
The University of Virginia had a TV newscaster. St. John’s College had socialist philosopher Cornel West.
When socialist philosopher Cornel West is in a good mood, he actually looks vaguely threatening …
Photo credit: Evan Agostini / AP
We can’t remember the others – most likely because they had nothing memorable to say either.
Class of 2015: The Most Indebted in History
It is unlikely that we would ever be called upon to give a speech to graduating students. But if we were, we would say the following: Congratulations, Class of 2015: You chumps! The Wall Street Journal reports that you are the most indebted generation in history.
The average graduate with student debt has a little more than $35,000 of it. The whole bill for student debt this year is expected to reach $68 billion – a tenfold increase over the last 20 years.
Average graduate debt over time – 2015 produced yet another record.
That may seem like a lot of money. And big numbers get reported in the headlines along with the celebrity news. But student debt is like the foul smell of gangrene: It testifies to a deeper, inner corruption.
